Malcolm Tucker is one of the most enjoyably sweary characters ever to appear on British TV. All but the most accomplished of ball-breaking misanthropes can surely learn much from his breathtaking use of the language.
Shockingly, there are no webpages devoted to him or his quotes. A search for "malcolm tucker quotes" returns nothing.
(To put this perspecive, there are 118 results when you try "mrs doubtfire quotes".)
I'll going to start to redress this by posting the best of them here.